Thursday, July 15, 2010

cycle update... just waiting

I took the fifth and final Provera pill on Sunday night and am still waiting for a period. The day after I started the Provera, my temperatures shot up and have stayed up. Fertility Friend totally freaked me out by putting up dotted cross hairs (I have never seen this before) with ovulation occurring the day I took my first pill, July 7th (which I did not take until the evening).

Since Provera can cause birth defects and should not be taken while pregnant, I of course have been freaking out a little bit (a lot). After plenty of inappropriate googling while at work, it appears taking Provera can raise your BBT, which makes sense. According to FF I would be 8 dpo today. I took an internet strip HPT and a clear blue digital today and both indicated I was not pregnant. It is kind of weird to feel relieved by that news, since that is what I have been hoping for since January!

. . . . . . . . . .

P and I had a talk about whether we should try the clomid during the next cycle. It is hard to get him to express his opinion on big topics in our relationship. I think he worries that his opinion on a topic will make me feel pressured to do what he wants. I love that he cares so much about me, but it is frustrating sometimes when he repeatedly tells me that we can do whatever I want to do.

After I convinced him that no matter what his opinion was, I would not feel pressured, he told me that he would rather try the clomid sooner rather than later. His answer surprised me. It is not that he doesn't want children- because he does, just as much as I do- but because I was sure his answer would me to wait a few months to give my body time to possibly ovulate on its own.

I think I thought this because this is what I wanted to hear. It is safer somehow. Although it freaks me out, I know in my heart I agree with him. I want to try the clomid and see what happens.

I think I have been trying to convince myself to put the clomid off because I am afraid it will not work.

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