Monday, July 12, 2010

Semen in my purse

This morning I started my day in a new and exciting way: with a little sterile cup of semen in my purse.

P did a great job of getting his business in the cup; although, we were both nervous that it was not enough. He thought maybe the cup "threw him off."

The lab tech at the fertility clinic new I was a newbie when I whispered to her that I didn't think there was enough of a specimen. She assured me that the specimen was of "normal volume."

Walking through the waiting room of the fertility clinic was very different than my OBGYN waiting room. I know this is a fairly obvious observation, but up until a few months ago, I think I would have been too clueless to notice. I felt more at ease there, unlike how I felt last Wednesday at my OBGYN's office... at the fertility clinic I felt more and less emotional.

More emotional because I could not believe that I felt more at ease there, and less emotional because there were no knocked-up-on-the-first-try, smug pregnant women. Sitting among such women last week was really hard, because I was so jealous. I just wanted to be one of them.

After my crappy visit with the NP last week, I have been thinking about skipping my three clomid cycles with the OBGYN and heading straight to an RE at the clinic I took P's specimen to this morning...

Yesterday I took my last of five Provera pills and am now waiting for a "period." I am still not sure whether we are going to start with the clomid this month, or wait to give my body a month or two of healthy eating and exercise to ovulate on its own. Am I naive to think this is possible?

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