Thursday, September 2, 2010

Hello full flow! The winning answer regarding the mystery spotting: it was the beginning of my "period" after an annovulatory cycle.

I dropped off my prescription for 100 mg clomid this morning.

The positive: I did not need to take provera to bring on a period this time and I have gained more insight into charting. Jenn gave me some great advice to deal with FF and my inconsistent temping times.

The negative: 50 mg clomid did not make me ovulate and I am afraid clomid isn't going to work at all (gut feeling). Also, having very painful boobs and extreme fatigue in the week leading up to this period was a huge mind f*ck and pink evap lines 0n internet hpts hurt like hell. Realizing that I have definitely not ovulated in the last five months, and most likely since January, scared the crap out of me.

Conclusion: In future cycles, I need to try not to obsess over symptoms so much, because with PCOS, there are always going to be symptoms. I am going to make a herculean effort to not pee on anything/dip anything until well after a CLEAR ovulation.

The more of this fight that I face, the less it freaks me out. It is like anything else new or scary that a person would experience; the new scariness wears off and you just start dealing with it. I am hoping that the upcoming cycle will be less emotional and more about getting down to business.

5 comments:

  1. you are so right. the beginning is the hardest part, and you are there right now. you will get used to ignoring symptoms and going with the flow. and hey, maybe all your ovaries need is that extra push of 50mg more clomid? i guess we'll see huh? but i have to believe that we know our bodies better than the doctors, so i believe you when you say that you don't think it will, let's keep up our hope though, huh? what doctor are you going to if you dont mind me asking?
    sorry about the flow, happens to the best of us :)
    xoxo
    lis

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  2. Awww, bummer I was right. I was really hoping to be wrong. But, here's to hoping the higher dose of Clomid will be exactly the thing for you. Good luck with the whole not peeing on anything - that is a hard habit to break, I know!

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  3. I remember the rollercoaster of not knowing what was going on with my body and trying to figure things out by overanalyzing every possible sign or symptom... it's not healthy but we have all been there. I suppose it's our way of coping with what's happening or not happening more like. I hope blogging helps in releasing some of the added stress of TTC.. thinking of you my friend x

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  4. Thank you ladies for your lovely comments. You rock.

    Lis, my OBGYN is Dr. W.hite at G.arden S.tate OBGYN. I have an appointment with them on Monday. I have no idea why I am going in. The random doctor I saw last time (when I was supposed to see Dr. W) told me to come in to follow up... So far I am very frustrated with my care but am not sure what my next step should be. I am going to try to be firm about asking for an ultrasound of my ovaries on Monday and also about the possibility of taking Metformin.

    If I do not feel heard after Monday's appointment, I am moving on to an RE. I need to figure out what my next step will be in the case that I do not ovulate on 100 mg of clomid and would appreciate your advice. (Don't worry though, I am keeping up hope that I will ovulate on the clomid this month).

    Jenn, thanks again for looking at my chart and for the advice. I will let you know how well I do with not peeing on things... although I am going to pee on some opks again this cycle, just no hpts!

    Laura, the symptoms were insane this past cycle! I think my body kept gearing up to O, but never did, which made things intense.

    Thanks for stopping by, B.

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