Friday, October 15, 2010

no relations for you

Dr. M recommended that we have "relations" (just call it sex doc) this morning. P basically refused. He works nights, and worked a 12 hour shift last night. He had been sleeping for about 3 hours when I woke him up to "relate." He was all "I'm just too tired, I'm sorry" and rolled back over and was out.

I get that he is tired, but I am really hurt. I cried a little and then got my butt ready for work. The rollercoaster just does not seem to end. There is always something happening to make me feel like things aren't going to work out. It is like I am doing emotional interval training.

My plan is to not fight with P about this. This weekend I plan to talk to him about it and explain that if we are going to do this, then he needs to suck it up and do his part. If he is changing his mind and feeling overwhelmed by this process then I need to know. And if that is the case, I will be upset, but I will understand, because I am overwhelmed too.


  1. Ugh - I hate this. I'm so sorry that P said no. If it makes you feel any better, and it probably doesn't but know that you're not alone, this has happened to me too. EVERY time. We've done 3 IUI's and I've been refused after each one. Now the first two worked, and we're obviously still waiting on the third, but know that it's not really necessary to get pregnant.

    I think it's a good idea not to fight him about this. Honestly, I don't know that I would bring it up until you're on track for the next IUI - IF this happens. This one may just work... But that's just me, you need to decide what works best with your own relationship.

    Hugs to you sweetie - this stuff is tough.

  2. oh, that's so hard. i would feel so rejected as well as so frustrated about the ttc stuff, but then, i think if D woke me up for se.x after three hours i would be telling him no, too. after three hours sleep i wouldn't be able to remember the ttc part.

    i'm sorry this is so hard, mare :(

  3. ugh, i feel for you on this. it has happened to every couple. quite frankly, i'm confident that if i was a man, i'd have no problem getting the job done when it needed to be done, and i would do anything in the name of a child. but i say this as a woman, and not as a man, so perhaps i'm making light of something that is actually very hard to do. hmmm ... but still. i hear ya. guys can get really defensive on this topic though, so tread lightly and i hope hubby gets it :o) xoxo.

  4. That would have upset me, too. Hugs darling, this ain't easy. xx

  5. I hate this part. Seinna is right, this happens to every couple going through this. not that this makes this any easier for you, but please know that you are not alone. I hope your talk helps to get you on the same page and helps your husband understand this process and what is invovled.
    Thinking of you.....