Tuesday, October 12, 2010

RE appointment #2 tomorrow and "when are you two getting started"

Tomorrow morning at 7:30 I have an appointment with the RE for a follicle check. I am so nervous. I requested the entire day off because if I did not respond to the clomid, I am not sure I will feel up to working.

Tomorrow is kind of a big deal. The RE told us that if I did not respond to this round of clomid it was on to injectibles and that opens a whole new can of worms (not covered by insurance, PCOS patients have a tendency to hyperstimulate, which one reason so many PCOS patients require IVF, etc.). I have been trying not to focus on that though and just stay positive that the clomid worked.

P is going with me to the appointment. I feel bad having him get up after only sleeping for five hours, but last time I was so nervous I wouldn't have been able to drive, so I really need him.

. . . . . . . . . .

This last weekend was a rough one. P's brother got married on Sunday. It was a simple, beautiful outdoor ceremony. Of course, there was a lot of family in town for the wedding.

Both of P's brother, including the one that was getting married, have babies.

Lots of family + other siblings have kids + we are married = at least four people asking me when P and I were going to "get started."

That question has never hurt me before. Before when people asked me those questions I would just blush and laugh and say something like "oh, soon, we are just enjoying being married... blah blah blah." But this time, I responded by acting like I didn't want kids. I was all "oh, no thanks, not for us, we don't need rugrats... diapers, gross."

I was surprised at myself for saying these things. It couldn't be further from the truth! I guess as more time goes on, the more I want to have a baby, and the more afraid I am that it isn't going to happen. Maybe I am just protecting those feelings by pushing people away from the topic.

Or maybe I am just a coward.

4 comments:

  1. You're not a coward, sweetie, you're protecting your heart! I hate those questions, and we've all done it - given flip comments to those questions. Sorry you had such nosy people around you this weekend. Good luck at tomorrow's appointment - I really hope the clomid did the trick!

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  2. I agree, you're not a coward. When I get asked about kids now, I just say "oh my husband is a big enough kid too look after, I don't need anymore".

    Of course this isn't the truth but I'm tired of going through the whole spiel of wanting kids but not being able to carry them.

    I say what I need to say to keep ME sane and MY heart protected.

    xxxx

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  3. No, not a coward at all. Not At All. Hugs dear, that kind of thing can be so awkward and difficult.

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  4. what the others said. it's a horrible situation to be in and all you can say is whatever is easiest for you to say. it's an intrusive question and they shouldn't be asking it.

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