Monday, January 31, 2011

I am still here (random post)

I can't believe it has been so long since I last posted. I am still pregnant and seemingly healthy, thank god, so everything in that area is ok.

My Nana has been very ill from congestive heart failure for the last few weeks and P and I have been driving home as much as possible to sit with her in the hospital to give my Mom some time away from the hospital. In between all of that, we went to Florida for a five day getaway, which was much needed. I felt kind of guilty going away while my Nan was so sick, but we had planned the trip back in September and really didn't want to waste the airfare, etc. Florida is a short flight from NJ/PA, so we figured we could fly home on short notice if we needed to. Thankfully, that was not necessary. Nana has recovered some ground and is home from the hospital, for now.

Beyond all the travelling and visiting though, I guess I haven't had much to say on my blog. As excited and thankful as I am for this pregnancy, I still have trouble talking out loud about it to anyone but P. I swear I was never superstitious before this! My Mom was always superstitious about things, especially pregnancy, and I always thought she was crazy. Well, I guess I am a little crazy too.

Monday, January 10, 2011

first ultrasound

Everything went well this morning. There was a gestational sac and inside it there was a little flasher. P and I were amazed that we could see the little heartbeat. We saw it almost immediately. The baby measured 6w1d and the estimated due date is September 4th.

There was another shadow area that the tech measured that she said was questionable, but she said it was probably nothing. We go for a second ultrasound next Monday.

So far, the only symptoms I have been feeling are fatigue and constipation (lovely). I had one dizzy spell when I had gone too long without eating, but that is it. It is probably too early to call yet, but, I don't think I will have morning sickness. My Mom did not have it with any of her four pregnancies... but we will see I guess.

This is beginning to feel real.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

fifth beta

It was 5777; 51.64 hour doubling time. The doctor was very pleased with this week's betas. I feel the anxiety beginning to lessen. Maybe I can allow myself to settle into this pregnancy a bit.

The first ultrasound is scheduled for next Monday, when I will be 6w3d (it is so surreal to type that).

My feelings about this pregnancy so far are best described as cautious. Of course, I am happy, etc., but I was (stupidly) not anticipating this much stress about beta numbers.

... I really thought I could write about this, but, it turns out, I cannot. It is really hard for me to put things into words lately. Ugh. Hopefully after relaxing this upcoming weekend and NOT stressing about beta numbers I can get some of what I have been feeling into a coherent post.

Monday, January 3, 2011

fourth beta

It was 3033. I think the doubling time was 52 hours or something.

Thanks for the comments on my last post. The weekend was not that bad because I managed to not freak out. After freaking out all day Thursday and having myself convinced that the worst was coming, I decided enough was enough and I wasn't thinking about it until I heard the results from today. Surprisingly I was mostly successful in putting beta obsession aside.

There is yet another effing beta on Wednesday- of course I will update- and then hopefully I can start writing some real posts...