Wednesday, March 23, 2011

my lent goal of working out daily- not happening. i don't know why i even make such promises- i rarely follow through. the work goals i made for lent i have been following through on at least. lent work goal: do work at work. mind blowing, i know.

infertility not only killed my already slow metabolism, it killed my work ethic completely. i got in a horrible habit of reading blogs and researching fertility issues all day (and obsessing over my wacky charts) instead of working. i got stuff done, but it was not my usual production.

i thought once i got pregnant that things would go back to normal. not so much. infertility stress rolled over into beta hell stress and then first trimester stress. now, a few weeks into the second trimester (thank you god) i am not as stressed and have decided it is time to amp up the work production.

so far so good.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

fat tuesday

Lent starts tomorrow and instead of giving anything up, I am going to add something. I have not eaten many sweets or deserts since getting pregnant and can't eat pizza anymore. These things just do not taste good to me right now, which is awesome for obvious reasons. I am going to add at least 20 minutes of exercise to my day for Lent.

I started out this pregnancy about 40 pounds overweight. Fighting infertility for a little over a year, which included many months of (pointless) clomid and injectibles, not to mention sadness and lots of "eating my feelings" episodes, did not aid my quest to lose weight and get fit. A little confession: when I read posts/heard about women complaining about body image and weight while pregnant, I used to get all "pffffft, at least your pregnant, shut it, I will never feel that way because I will be so happy/grateful/excited/content."

To my former self: you were so wrong and insensitive (to be honest, I knew my thoughts were insensitive at the time, which is why I kept them to myself until now). Things that I never thought would bother me have been on my mind for the last few weeks. Although I have had almost no weight gain so far, I know it is coming. I will not have a cute "baby bump" at 20 weeks... maybe at 30 weeks it will all round out, but until then I will be... lumpy. This bothers me.

Not only do I have left-over angst at my body for not being able to ovulate without months of drugs, I have a much older angst: my amazing ability to retain and even gain weight when eating less calories than the average person. My RE explained that this is related to PCOS and the way my body processes sugars. He said to come back after the pregnancy and he would help me treat that part of my PCOS as well.

I have not worked out at all since before I went to my RE for the first time except for 30-60 minutes of moderate walking during lunch five days a week. My OB recommended adding some extra activity to help with weight gain in the coming months and said it would be fine to add 20-40 minutes of moderate exercise at this point, and increase as I want to, as long as I keep it moderate.

Anyone have any suggestions or advice? I am trying to decide between buying some prenatal videos (yoga, light aerobic, etc.) on half.com or joining a cheap gym and just using the treadmill and elliptical.



side note: i am not trying to lose weight during pregnancy, i am just trying to remain as healthy as possible. my ob gave me a very modest weight gain goal based on my weight at the beginning of this pregnancy.