Friday, December 30, 2011

going back to work

as i mentioned in my last post, i will be going back to work next thursday. this makes me nervous for a number of reasons: being away from her for 9 hour stretches, pumping at work, her not nursing all day, and being functional at work.

i have never been away from her for more than 4 hours. being at work all day, three days a week, both excites and scares me. i am looking forward to a return to adult conversations and lunches and using my brain... but not looking forward to missing the amazing new things she does every day while i am at work. i will also miss nursing her throughout the day.

at work i will have to pump in my office. my pump is not exactly quiet and it will probably sound like milking time at the farm to the adjoining offices and those passing by in the hall. anyone have any pumping at work advice or comments?

despite not getting more than a 5 hour stretch of sleep at a time for over 16 weeks now, i am at a point where i am used to the sleep deprivation and get things accomplished around the house. these things may be pathetically small, such as laundry, dishes, and bill paying, but they get done.

my fear is that work will be a different story. my job consists of sitting in front of a computer for 8+ hours writing and researching with almost no people interaction. the afternoon slump can be brutal some days... can only imagine how it will go with less than great sleep.

one more stressor: my scary flabby post baby midsection. how the hell do i get it into trousers? i am planning to wear spanks for the first few days, but those things make my ass sweat like whoa. guess it's time to start paying attention to my diet and working out (fitting those two things into my day, on top of work, pumping, breastfeeding, and childcare will be a breeze, i'm sure).

it's official. i am buying a powerball ticket and praying for a miracle.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

More pictures

2011 is drawing to a close and i feel the need to squeeze in a post or two.

first of all, baby updates: amelia is doing very well. breastfeeding got easier and easier with each passing week and at 16 weeks we are still going strong. over the past five or six days I have been giving her 2-4 ounces of formula once a day. P asked that we introduce it because he will be with her during the day while i am work (and i will be with her at night when he is a work). he was concerned that if he ran out of breast milk or had a freak breast milk accident, that he would be stuck with a screaming hungry baby and no way to feed her. the first two days she spit it out and acted like we were feeding her poison. the last three or so days she has taken without a problem.

as for sleeping, she has only slept through the night three times. usually she goes down between 9 and 10, wakes up at 4 am for a feed, and then goes down until 7:30 or 8. this is not a big deal, so i am not too worried about her sleeping through the night. she takes two to three 30 minute to 1.5 hour naps during the day, but only in her rock and play. she is not a fan of napping in the crib for some reason, but has no trouble being in the crib at night.

she has two teeth already! she started teething at 12 weeks! her bottom two teeth have cut through so far and i think she might be working on a top tooth or 2 because she has been gnawing on her hands and fingers again and drooling up a storm. the teething has been causing some sleep disruption, but nothing too terrible.

i am going back to work next thursday and am dreading it. i keep telling myself it will be good for me yadda yadda yadda... it doesn't help. being away from her for 8 hours a day, 3 days a week will be a hard adjustment. thankfully i can work from home 2 days a week, otherwise i would really be a wreck.

P is wonderful with the baby and is completely in love with her. some of my favorite moments over the past 4 months has been watching them interact. he is very intuitive with her and seems to know what she needs. i have learned a lot from him regarding soothing her because my soothing repertoire did not extend much beyond nursing her for a long time.

2011 was a good year for us. we are forever thankful for our baby girl. this time last year we were newly pregnant and in beta hell... too scared to allow ourselves to get too excited. sometimes i can't believe she is ours.

newborn photos:

i have more recent photos, but they are on my iphone. have to figure out how to post them here.